The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting “Silence in Court.”The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, “Judge ... I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.”The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.The judge says “OK.”“Well”, said Paddy, “After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song ... when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates.”The Judge instantly responded... “Wow ... that must have hurt!”Paddy replies “HURT! ... He broke three of my fingers!”A guy was accosted by a hooker. She asked, “How. Mike was my best mate, but he was a damn prick sometimes. Later, after the consumption of a behaviour altering amount of alcohol, Mike said, "My mum said she fancies you, even your ginger hair(laughs), she said her heart thumps whenever you come round to our house." "Jeeesus Mike!" I quipped. "You're fucking k**ding me" "Nope. We had a heart to heart discussion last night, she never usually discusses anything like that with me. To be honest mate, I thought she only told me because she secretly wants me to tell you, you know how shy and proper my mum is. She would never tell you how she truly felt" "Cool, am gonna fuck her brains out tonight" I jokingly said. "Fuck off Arthur, don't even joke about shit like that". "Relax man, I’m k**ding, I wouldn't dare, I have never thought of your mum in that way" I reassured. The night turned out to be uneventful yet again, in terms of trying to get laid out on the town. We got back to Mikes house sometime after 12pm and sat on his sofa with.
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